“I’d just like your thoughts on single life in general. A lot of times I struggle with knowing there’s nothing wrong with being single for life if that’s God’s plan for me. I’ve known several 90+ year-olds who were single all their lives. Some were Christians, others weren’t. With that generation you would think, “Wow! They will have great insight into these doubts and questions I have,” but unfortunately all I have been able to glean from them is it just never happened or how bad men were to them personally. I’d just like to hear from someone who could share more about the single, older life.”
“Why aren’t you dating? Surely, the guys are all after you?”
“So, when are you getting married?”
“You’re not getting any younger.”
“What about kids? Don’t you want children?”
And then there’s my all-time favorite … “Are you a lesbian?”
These are things I hear often, especially from family. I’m 27, single, childless and PAINFULLY aware of it. In today’s society (at least in small town Texas), it’s expected to be married by 22 or 23 and a mother soon after. When you don’t fit that mold, people don’t know how to respond. It’s as if something is wrong with you; you’re not ‘doing’ life right.
Just like some – and I’d venture to say most – I find myself worrying often (especially after someone brings my singleness to my attention as if I wasn’t already aware).
Am I broken?
Is something wrong with me?
What have I done wrong; why doesn’t any guy want me?
Then I remember — God is going to take care of me. He always takes care of me. It doesn’t mean it will be easy. The Christian life, if you’re living it biblically, shouldn’t be. It will be tough, you’ll be discouraged, and you’ll question your own path. You just have to stay focused on God.
Will I be single the rest of my life? Has God called me to a life of singleness? I don’t know. God hasn’t told me. God told me to work; He told me to be there for my youth (I’m a youth worker at my church) as an example and a friend. I’m doing what He says. At this time, He sees fit for me to be single. And it makes sense.
1 Corinthians 7:32-35 says, “I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but He’s called me to serve Him, to be a holy example to people.”
And like 1 Corinthians says, my attentions are not divided. I’m focused. I’m not saying people should never get married. I just personally believe God has called me to singleness at this time. I think everyone has a period in their life that God sees it best to be single. Whatever the length, know that you’re never alone. He’s there, and so are we. There are many of us out here who are single. We’re not pariahs, we’re not weird and we’re not broken. We’re right where God wants us to be in order to promote His will and glory and to secure our undivided devotion to the Lord.
Delena and the Rediscovered team
*photo credit Britney@BareTribeBlog